Continued.

I don't understand girls who eat whatever they want. Guys are different; their metabolisms are crazy. But girls? It's rare to see a girl who's skinny nowadays. No offense. But I see some really pretty girls, who were in good shape younger but high school and college have put on weight.

How can they not notice? How can they stand to look at their fat? To put on a bathing suit or a dress? To be noticed by guys? To get naked with a guy? To look at food and put it into their mouths? At least eat something healthy! The thought of putting any junk or fatty food into my body petrifies me. I wouldn't want that in my body, my hips and thighs. God.

I can't ever imagine that. I hate my fat.
Even if I reach my goal, I will always live in the constant fear of gaining, of losing that perfect figure I have achieved. So this charade will never end.

I can't stand this feeling right now. This fat around my hips. I fucking hate love handles. God, I feel sick. It feels so heavy, I want to just cut it off.